The Seventh Commandment (1)

(The ninth in a series of sermons on the Ten Commandments, preached October 19, 2008.)

Exodus 20:14 You shall not commit adultery.

Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Purity of heart – it’s non-negotiable. Certainly, we can never negotiate with God – not on any point. He is sovereign; we are not. But if there is one point over which there is never a dispute, nor even a misunderstanding – where God’s requirement is crystal clear – it is purity of heart. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). “Strive for . . . the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14). Pursuing heart purity is non-negotiable. We can’t say, “Lord, I’ll worship more, give more, serve more – if you’ll just relax this one demand for purity.” No, heart holiness is non-negotiable.

What makes this requirement so difficult is that we pursue purity in the face of two powerfully destructive forces that lay waste to countless lives – sinful anger and lust.

Last week we looked at anger. Now, to be sure, not all anger is sinful. It is a God-given emotion that performs its God-given function when it leads us to tackle problems to the glory of God. However, when our anger leads us to attack people instead of problems, it is sinful, and always destructive.

Or, when our anger leads us to withdraw from people we should serve and love, it is sinful. Sometimes anger ignites fiery passion; at other times it produces the cold shoulder. Some angry people blow up; others clam up. In either case, the outcome is the same: conflict instead of peace, division instead of unity, hatred instead of love.

There is such a thing as godly anger, so not all anger is sinful. Nor, of course, is all sexual desire sinful. By God’s design, sexual desire plays a vital role in the establishment and nurture of a life-long marriage covenant between a man and a woman. However, when sexual desire crosses over the boundaries God has set, it becomes a powerfully destructive force that uses, abuses, and dehumanizes people.

So, anger and sexual desire are powerful forces. They can shape you to become a godly man or woman - or, they can destroy you. Whether anger or sexual desire are forces for good or evil is a fight that will be won on the battlefield of your own heart.

Look closely at Jesus’ words: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’” (Matthew 5:27) Do you see the quotation marks? Just as in verse 21, Jesus refers to the teaching of the Pharisees. Now, of course, the Pharisees quote scripture, in this case the seventh commandment: “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).

Think about this commandment. There is never any reason for adultery. At times, killing is justified, such as in cases of war, self-defense, and the execution of murderers. At times, lying is justified in order to protect human life. But adultery is never justified.

What’s wrong, then, with the Pharisee’s teaching? The problem is not what the Pharisees say, but what they don’t say. They miss the full intent of the law that forbids far more than the physical act of adultery. Just as murder begins with anger, so adultery begins by breaking other laws. There is the sin of idolatry as a person makes sexual pleasure the one thing which he will stop at nothing to get; sex becomes his functional god. There is the sin of coveting another’s spouse. There is the sin of stealing another’s spouse. And to compound the problem, as many Pharisees produced more and more reasons for divorce, they made the law forbidding adultery almost irrelevant. Why be concerned with adultery when you can move from spouse to spouse?

Jesus’ words are a reality check. No matter how diverse adulterers are and how different their stories, there is one thing that every adulterer has in common: their behavior begins mental adultery - with sinful lust - and that lust is subject to God’s righteous judgment. “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.” (Matthew 5:28-29) And Jesus’ point is clear: Better to deal with lust now than to deal with it later - in hell. The lust that leads to adultery, leads to hell.

That’s the eternal cost of unrepentant lust. But what are the consequences now? Think about pornography:

• Many marriages do not form because of a spouse’s addiction to pornography, or more accurately, because of their passion for virtual adultery.
• Countless hours are wasted – gone forever – as men surf pornographic sites.
• Home computers are used where children may stumble upon it – forever altering their views of sexuality.
• Company computers are used immorally and jobs lost.
• Personal reputations are destroyed.
• Reputations of churches are smeared.

In our passage Jesus is moving in one direction, our culture another. When was the last time you read a book, watched a movie, or listened to a lecture in which lust was portrayed in all its deadliness? If lust is mentioned at all, it is often to assure us that it’s harmless, no big deal.

You remember the late Abigail Van Buren, better known as “Dear Abby.” One writer observes:

[Dear Abby], counselor for millions, regularly tells her correspondents that sexual fantasy is normal and harmless – and even beneficial so long as the imagined illicit relationships are not carried out. She goes even further, blasphemously saying that the teaching of Christ on lust is one of the most damaging religious teachings ever put upon the human race. But what she ignores is that faithfulness is an act of the mind, not merely the body. Intimacy, commitment, and mutual trust are first violated in the mind. To imagine intimacy with someone else is to break unity and assault the divine metaphor – and to begin to erode one’s marriage. (R. Kent Hughes, Disciplines of Grace)

Last week we looked at sinful anger; today lust. Anger and lust deface us and all who bear God’s image. Our need is clear, stated so eloquently by Walter Chalmers Smith:

One thing I of the Lord desire –
For all my way has darksome been –
Be it earthquake, wind or fire,
Lord, make me clean. Lord, make me clean!

We need the cleansing that comes as God wipes our guilty records clean by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. We need the Spirit’s work that makes our hearts and our hearts’ desires clean. Lord, make us clean!

Now is a good time to ask: What does the Bible say about the sexual relationship? Four things (I owe the next six points Tim Keller; they are notes I took from a sermon on this passage):

1. The sexual relationship is a sign of complete life unity between a man and a woman within the covenant of marriage. “I belong to you, and you belong to me; we are one. We are no longer two independent lives. We live each for the other.”

2. The sexual relationship is a means toward achieving the life unity that exists between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage. Mutual tenderness, giving, affection, and patience are all bound up in the sexual intimacy that pleases the Lord.

3. The sexual relationship is a means of renewing the commitment to life unity in the covenant of marriage, and of producing children of promise who will know, love, and serve the Lord.

4. Only commitment to Christian sexual ethics can take the powerful force of human sexual desire and shape life for good instead of harm.

That’s a brief summary the Bible says about the sexual relationship. Now ask, what is lust?

1. Lust is sexual desire that has crossed God’s good boundaries. It is like a river that quenches human thirst and nourishes the ground. The life-giving water of a river is a good thing, but if it crosses its boundaries and rages out of control, it destroys. So it is with lust. Lust crosses the good boundaries God has set. Any thought that would be immoral to act out is sinful. A man is not guilty of immorality because he enjoys a woman’s beauty, but because he mentally misuses sexually any woman who is not his wife. It is not the admiring look that is the problem, but the look that cultivates a sexual relationship in the mind.

2. Lust is pursuing sexual gratification without a covenant. “I do want to have sex with you, but I don’t want to be bound to you. I want to be free of any commitment. I want your body, but not you. I want to give you my body without giving myself.”

3. Lust is pursuing sexual pleasure without concern for a person. Think about the difference between lust and covenant love. Lust makes a man desire only pleasure; covenant love makes a man desire a godly, life-long marriage relationship with a woman. Lust makes a man want immoral relationships with women in general; covenant love leads a man to give himself body and soul to a specific woman. Lust exploits; covenant love gives, and gives sacrificially. Lust is self-centered; covenant love is other-centered. Lust withholds; covenant love entrusts. [My point is adapted from Stuart Latimer’s lecture “Love versus Infatuation: How to Tell the Difference.”]

In light of both the beauty of covenant love and the danger of sinful lust, what is our duty? Our duty is that self-control that is the fruit of God’s Holy Spirit. The Spirit produces in us that disciplined life that pursues purity.

I love the old saying:

Sow an act,
and you reap a habit.
Sow a habit
and you reap a character.
Sow a character
and you reap a destiny for yourself
your family,
your church,
your world.

Organizations like Planned Parenthood might deem this beyond the realm of possibility, but the life changing power of the Christ is a reality celebrated by everyone born of God’s Spirit.

But, you ask, how do I deal with my ongoing battle against lust? Treat it like a cancer.

First, act decisively. Look at Jesus’ words. “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” (Matthew 5:29-30) This is the language of amputation. The eye is chosen because it leads to covetousness; the hand because of theft. Amputation is painful. But it saves lives.

When Jesus uses these strong words, he is not calling for physical disfigurement. However, you must sever yourself from the person who fuels your lust. Or, it may be pornography and romance novels that fuel it; you must rid yourselves of them. If you are married, your devotion to your spouse must be complete and exclusive in both behavior and thought.

Let’s move on. Sinclair Ferguson offers helpful advice: don’t offer God substitutes for obedience. Don’t try to negotiate with him. Don’t say, “I’ll work harder in the church, or give more money.” God wants your heart; he wants it to be pure.

Next, don’t give into self-pity. As someone counseled, don’t say, “I’m hurting, and I don’t need someone to lay a guilt trip on me now.” Agree with God that lust and adultery are sin, and repent.

An accountability relationship with a spiritually mature Christian may be helpful. But a warning: they do no good if you’re not honest about your behaviors. If you deceive your accountability partner, your behaviors will worsen. You’ve added lying to your mental adultery.

In every spiritual battle, we forget what we should remember. The battle with lust is no exception. Remember that your commitment to people is more important than your personal desires. You define yourself by the promises you make and keep. There’s no heroism without this principle. Heroism requires perseverance when your desire is to give up. The fool defines his life by his desires. He makes his decisions based solely on what he wants. If a commitment doesn’t fulfill, he breaks his promise. Don’t be a fool.

It is also helpful to remember what you are throwing away. Are you ready to lose your spouse and your children as lust gives way to adultery?

And, finally, remember the gospel. Don’t wallow in self-centered remorse. Have you committed adultery? God delights in forgiving people with the most messed up lives. Christ died that adulterers might be forgiven. God says to the repentant adulterer, “You are mine. I have bought your freedom from sin at a price. I have made you a temple of my Holy Spirit. Go and sin more.” The gospel promises are for you.

We’ve taken two weeks to look at Jesus’ teaching on anger and sexual desire. Two powerful forces that can either destroy you or shape you into a godly man or woman. Whether these forces mar your life, or make you a person of dignity and grace all depends on the condition of your heart. Are you pursuing purity? Go today before the throne of grace today – go everyday – pleading, “Lord, make me clean. Lord, make me clean!”